This blog is a step ahead of my journal. I journal today about what happened yesterday. So this morning I was recording in my journal what God did yesterday and meditating on it. It actually fit perfectly, in one of those ‘coincidences’, with my daily bible study. I use Every day with Jesus. I can’t recommend it highly enough, I have even picked up old copies and found God speak directly into a situation from something 2 years ‘out of date’. But back to the point.
That’s what happened to me yesterday: through His word I saw the Truth, knew it as Truth, accepted it as Truth and held to it. And I was set free. I could mourn for all the years that I was bound captive by this thing. I could look at my life and mourn for other areas still bound up. I could mourn for my failure to be perfect. That’s the human route, to apologise and try to be good enough in my own strength. How devious my mind can be, totally delinquent in remembering His mercy.
The whole point of salvation is that I can not, can never, be good enough. I can’t set myself free, all self-help is ultimately limited because I am limited. It has to be Him, He has to do it in His time, in His way. I can look at my life and want to start scouring, tugging, cutting, digging but if you have ever done a renovation then you know it needs a plan and you do it step by step. Same with me. He can see the end from the beginning. He knows that my chocolate addiction stems from insecurity. That my need to be in control comes from fear of failing. What is more important the symptom or the cause? Sometimes the symptom needs to go first to uncover the cause, sometimes the cause needs to go first to drain the impulse. And sometimes He just does a miraculous thing all at once.
He knows what is best and I have to trust in Him. Remember those standing stones? This is another place for them. I can add a new one for yesterday and when the pressure to be ‘perfect’ gets too much I can look at the stones. I can remember His unending love and faithfulness and relax into Him.