It’s been an odd few weeks, I’ve sat down daily to write my blog and several times walked away with nothing written not because God and I hadn’t talked but because there was nothing for me to share. I have moved past the guilt phase, the ‘oh but you promised’ phase into a phase where I am confident in my relationship and confident that I will keep coming here and when I have something to share I will know it and do it – like today.
Over the years I have heard God promise me things, tell me things He was going to do and I’ve watched for them, failed to watch for them and forgotten them – I haven’t always kept a journal like I do now. Recently, in the past months recent, I’ve seen some of those things coming into view either right on the doorstep out of the blue or on the horizon coming closer. It’s a wonderful thing to see God keeping His promises, being faithful.
These last few days, however, I’ve been in a funny place, funny peculiar not funny amusing. I’ve wanted to hunker down, snuggle under blankets and hibernate. This very morning Father and I went through some ‘hurty’ situations that I was brooding over. I’ve been feeling (you know where this is going if you read my blog regularly) bleuchy.
The blanket thing was almost amusing, I think the word is ironic, because I had a picture at the prayer meeting on Tuesday of God gently tugging blankets off sleeping Christians. I wasn’t in this fugue then so I was optimistic about what He was going to do for others – not me. God’s incredibly gracious like that.
Back to feelings though. God and I talked and He revealed that even if the situations are ‘hurty’ – which they actually weren’t – it’s my interpretation and my response that causes the real lingering pain. If I take offence, if I wriggle and squirm to make things look right rather than just be honest and deal openly, if I try to please everyone instead of God first, if I forget who I am and try to be someone else then I am going to end up hurting myself and others.
There’s another aspect too, as I said God is bringing things He promised. My flesh, the world and the Devil really don’t like that so smoke clouds, dust flurries and other things that blur my vision, distract and confuse me are going to rise up all around. From expected and unexpected angles. It’s time to stand. It’s time to have that clarity of vision, thought and faith that enables me to remember the armour I wear, remember the Father who loves and the Spirit who brings a hope that can’t disappoint and to stand.
13 And this is why you need to be head-to-toe in the full armor of God: so you can resist during these evil days and be fully prepared to hold your ground.