All I Hang On To

18 Pray always. Pray in the Spirit. Pray about everything in every way you know how! And keeping all this in mind, pray on behalf of God’s people. Keep on praying feverishly, and be on the lookout until evil has been stayed.

Ephesians 6:18

This is my weekly memory verse. It’s something I’ve spoken about before but, because the Word is living and active, I am coming from a different angle today. This verse arrived before last week was done so it was sitting on its card behind ready and in my mind. However, on Sunday morning, I was having a major blah. I went to bed Saturday evening and my final thought as I slipped into sleep was let’s not go to church tomorrow. I woke and felt the same way, let’s just stay home, read, relax, there’s no need to go to church.

I went out walking the dog and struggled to pray to put that thought straight and boy was it a struggle, it was like my mind had a mind of its own and was point blank refusing to get in line with what my Spirit wanted. Every time I tried to talk to my Father my mind slipped off into some other train of thought and I was left feeling tossed and torn. I came back and opened my journal beginning to write how difficult it had been trying to pray. There was a little cough and tap on my shoulder as God revealed to me that trying to pray was prayer.

He is so gracious, He is so good. Even the attempt to come to Him is counted as righteousness. I wasn’t the wayward son returning from a life of wickedness in the city, I was a child trying to be obedient and somehow tossed and blown on an unexpected stormy sea. But He was right there to reassure me that He was there, that He did know and He was holding my hand, bending down to catch the words that seemed to be blown around everywhere even though my eyes, my heart could only see my failure.

Pray always Paul says. Pray in the Spirit. Pray about everything in every way you know how. Sometimes the only way I know how is failing and distracted and desperate. It’s not failing and distracted and desperate to God; it’s sweet incense, it’s a sweet sound, it’s the voice of a child calling to a Father because she knows He’s all she has and oh how she needs Him. In some ways, it’s better than my ordered, reasoned prayer because it shows I am learning that He listens, He answers and it’s not about me but about Him.

Prayer is talking and listening to the God who is good and who loves me. All the time, in every way listening, talking, letting Him in so that my life makes sense and pleases Him. I did go to church, by the way, and met with my family and worshipped my King and heard His voice in many many ways.

He is so good.

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