I follow a lot of blogs – it’s a great way to hear other thoughts about what you believe, to learn and get encouragement – I was reading one this morning about being radical I recommend you read it and listen to the song posted at the end.
While driving yesterday, I was in my head preparing a ‘conversation’ with someone. I heard my tone of voice as I mentally said something so sweet and spiritual and it stopped me in my tracks. The judgement I was carrying in my heart was immense. So I began to pray for forgiveness and a new heart. That little voice said ‘ah ok that was bad but you are better than so many others’. I took a mental swerve (not physical on the road thank God) away from that and took my heart to the Doctor for cleansing, healing and repair.
Such a narrow path between self-righteous judgement and self-righteous ‘repentance’. Narrow but straight. I keep my eyes fixed on Him, my heart open towards Him and don’t look right or left at either of those alternatives. Nor do I cock an ear to listen to what they might say. It’s not just my eyes but keeping my whole attention on Him. He’s gracious, He’s a good God and so merciful I can’t contain it.
I was also driving when my road crossed the train tracks. There was a long train crossing the crossing and normally I’d just sit and wait after all no-one is there from yesterday. But I looked at the train, checked the time and decided to swerve carefully, after indicating my intent, into the next lane and loop around to the road with a bridge over the tracks. As I crossed the bridge and glanced down, the very long train was stopped and I would have still been stuck in the queue. I whooped ‘Yes, baby!” and laughed that I had escaped. I heard myself and offered a more sober thank you to Father. I heard Him chuckling and saying that ‘Yes, baby’ was a fine response because it came with joy from my heart. It took me back to my blog earlier this week where I said He wants to be in relationship with me, that I am myself and not putting on a show.
It’s awesome to me that as well as closeted in my room I can talk to Him in the car. It’s more than awesome that He has become so vital to me that second by second I can hear Him and be taught by Him. I said the Gospel was simple and it is. Simple doesn’t mean easy but I shall hold onto these moments of closeness and use them as reminders during (or after) the times I am not so close or so ready to hear. Reminders that it can happen, He is faithful and I have a joy and a hope. Just to link all of this together – I think that’s pretty radical.