R and R

I’ve been up for three hours and it’s already a day where I just want to go back to bed and start over tomorrow. You ever have days like that? Days when it feels like you should just not bother to get out of bed? I wrote that word in my journal today and alarm bells went off.

Feels. I feel, it feels, I’m feeling. Writing that word 4 times in succession made it feel off as if I were misspelling it or something so I googled the word. Wow, it has a lot of meanings and is obviously a very useful word but, in this case, it’s not. I’ve written about it before and there is no doubt I will write about it again, but I am not going to live by what I feel. You understand it’s not the concrete things around me that I am denying but my emotional response to things that happen. Why? Because my emotional responses too often cause me to deny what God has promised.

I get angry because there’s no coffee – God has promised to supply all my needs and there’s more coffee ready to be made, pure water in the tap, soft drinks in the fridge, tea in the cupboard. So, my anger is really out of place because it’s a tiny hiccup not a threat against my life. I say too much when I ought to keep my lips closed and feel like a failure, like the situation will never get better, like throwing in the towel, like I wish it were all over. Hmmm, the problem isn’t the other person and how I think they should be – that is for God to deal with. The problem is my speaking when I should be silent and  my thinking it’s my job to change them. So, my sense of defeat and yes, overwhelming despair is a vast overreaction because God loves me, all the time, and His grace and mercy are always there. I could go on, but I hope you get the picture. Feelings that move me away from Truth are tricky deceitful things because they try to undermine what God has promised.

I read this today.

O my soul! Return and relax. Come to your true rest,
    for the Eternal has showered you with His favor.

Psalm 116:7

It makes me cry. Don’t get back under the covers of your bed, or hide in the corner feeling bad. Come back to your true rest: in Him. Why? because He’s not going to sigh at me, He’s not going to shake His head and look disappointed. He is going to continue to shower His favour on me. From that place of rest, the next time a situation arises, I can hope to act differently as His Holy Spirit transforms and renews my heart and mind. I have to abide there, stay there, not just linger but make it my home.

I want to have this thought in all the situations I face today, tomorrow, forever, awareness that wherever my physical body may be, my soul is at rest.

O my soul!

Return and relax.

Come to your true rest,

    for the Eternal has showered you with His favor.

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