Free Fear or Fear Free

In August last year we were buying a house. It was a speed run 3 weeks between seeing it and completion. The day after completion and receiving the keys, full of excitement about a house and plans for making it home Mark was laid off. 

10 weeks of trusting God to keep His promises followed, weeks of feeling fear stab and standing on God’s word when dollar after dollar was spent on bills and food. We were frugal – which was a shock after years of plenty – but still the dollars drained and all sorts of horrors loomed in my imagination. Then He provided the job. I am still living by faith though because ultimately it is His hand that provides whether through the salary or through miracles. 

I still get those colly-wobbles of fear, that Mark will come home and say those words again. I deny them and stand on the promises but they rear their heads and I stand and they rear and I stand and on and on. I have hope that one day they will cease to assail me. But I think more likely I will keep standing when they come, with greater and greater faith made strong in trial. 

I was thinking about fear. Seems to me I live in a world caught between two extremes: terror and pleasure. People swing back and forth between them with no balance. They run frantically after things that give them that buzz of satisfaction; things like food, sex, fame, money, power, glamour and success while being chased by fears like death, illness, terrorism, global warming, economic disaster, pimples and people.

You will keep in perfect peace
    those whose minds are steadfast,
    because they trust in you.

Isaiah 26:3 NIV

God offers me balance: freedom from fear and freedom from pursuing after things that ultimately don’t satisfy.

Self-discipline, that fruit of the Spirit last in the list and often last to be desired – at least by me.  That stops me from chasing things, from wanting more food, more clothes, more money, more things just more. The only thing I want more of, unlimited amount of, to be drenched in, is His presence. 

Faith is a gift of God too, belief that He holds me secure. That He holds the future as well as the present and has plans for me, that maybe I won’t understand but that will be for my good. I just read about pruning this morning. It is hard to be pruned, to be shaped and cut for a purpose. But He is the Gardener and we are the vines. It’s His job to shape us, prepare us and our job to be shaped and bear the fruit.

Be still and fear not. Words to live by.

One thought on “Free Fear or Fear Free

  1. Pingback: Hope of Peace | Shiny Thoughts

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